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The Stupid News
Stories of the Day
with
Jim Shorts
Man Claims Hitler Made Him Grow Pot
There's a Fuhrer over an Omaha, Nebraska man's decision to grow marijuana. WOWT reports police arrested a man for growing pot in his home last Wednesday. According to police he told them, "Adolph Hitler made him grow it." We hope his lawyer is just as creative in getting him off the hook.
Kindergarten Graduation Turns Violent
The kindergarten graduates at Puesta del Sol Elementary School weren't the most childish ones in attendance during their big day. The Victorville Daily Press reports the Victorville, California elementary school was placed on lockdown Wednesday after parents got into a fight during a kindergarten graduation ceremony. According to witnesses, a group of parents walked away from the ceremony to talk about an unspecified matter when several mothers got into some sort of altercation, at which point a few men intervened and started a brawl. The Associated Press reports two people were later arrested for inciting the scene. No one was hurt
Girl Provides Brilliant Reason for Stealing Underwear
A 15-year-old girl in St. Paul, Minnesota has yet to learn the importance of doing laundry. According to the St. Paul Pioneer Press, police arrested the girl last week for stealing 44 pairs of underwear from a Kmart. When cops asked why she felt the need to swipe so many underpants, the girl responded with this pearl of wisdom: "Do you expect me to wear dirty underwear?" The 44 pairs of undies were being sold for anywhere between $4 and $5 apiece
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